i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
