So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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