we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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