is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
