So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
