That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
