her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
