I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
