just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
