drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
