dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
