It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Let's get the cat blown out
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
