i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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