if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
