I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
