i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
