I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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