i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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