I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it's like iHOP with fire
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
