Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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