If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
