Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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