the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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