All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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