My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
