one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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