I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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