ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
