so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
