Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's shark week go big or go home
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
