and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
worst night to have a conscience
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
