My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
