I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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