Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Everyone says I win the strip club
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
