Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
