new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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