I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
