I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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