You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
