I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize