I didn't shave. On purpose
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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