just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Green mimosas i think yes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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