You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
