Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
