Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
