I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
