my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
