No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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