Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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