Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
