I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think I just sharted jello shots
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