Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
