so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize