You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is Oprah even human
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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