this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
