Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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