look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
