why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
