when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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