He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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