hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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