I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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