Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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