I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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