I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
