I want to make a zoo with you.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
