i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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