hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
