Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
