I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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