i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
