Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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