butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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