yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize