i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
