the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You ruined the universe
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
